wedding
10 Wedding dress shopping tips for your wallet and mind
December is that magical month when families get together to celebrate the holidays and the number of newly engaged couples skyrockets. I got engaged in December too and we had our wedding in September, followed by the most amazing honeymoon to Nepal to trek over the Three Passes and the Everest Base Camp! Since it’s all so fresh in the memory I wanted to share some unexpected wedding dress shopping truths no one talks about (potentially because everyone assumes you should know these things).
So, a long story short, once you decide on your date and take care of the other big four wedding planning to-dos (aka choose your venue, and book your photographer and DJ), you’ll need to find the dress you’ll want to say yes to. And there are a few things I wish I knew before I did.
Getting my wedding gown was incredibly (and surprisingly) stressful – something no one tells you is even possible, so I thought why not share some of the things I’ve done wrong so that you don’t have to.
If you already know all of these, I am very happy for you, but if you don’t, I really hope these tips will help you avoid a major wedding dress shopping headache. Read on for the ten wedding dress shopping tips I wish I knew before I said yes to
1. Getting your gown can take up to six months, so order early
I didn’t know this when I got engaged, so just wanted to share this piece of advice. You have to start dress shopping early so that you get your gown and then have time for alterations. Most places will usually order your gown in “your size” or so they say, but I didn’t meet a single person who needed no alterations after receiving their wedding dress. In hindsight, I could have custom made my gown for half the price I paid for it (and I am not even talking about alterations). Buying your wedding gown during a sample sale will also save you tons of money. Ask at the store if they have a sample they can sell. If they do have samples, it’s better to pick something close to your size because if you pick one that’s too big, you may end up with a different look post alterations, not to mention the cost of alterations themselves.
2. Consider alternatives to buying your gown at the wedding dress store
So something I learned fairly recently is that you can get a ready to ship wedding gown online from NORDSTROM’s wedding dress section online! If only I knew! I can’t attest to the quality and fit though, but have I known this I can assure you I would have tried this option out for a few reasons – it’s cheaper, and it ships ready to wear. Another good online wedding dress shop is the BHLDN (Anthropologie). They have lots of beautiful gowns you could try on if there is a store in your city, or order online and then alter to your liking.
3. Veils are (unnecessarily) expensive.
Yes, some are exceptional quality made out of silk yadda yadda yadda, but for the most part, your veil is no better than an IKEA sheer curtain so why pay so much for it? I know a few people who ordered beautiful veils on websites like JJSHouse and Ailsa Bridal (including myself) and were very happy with the purchase. The only thing with those online ordered veils is that you’ll need to let them hang a little or steam them because they are shipped in a tiny bag and hence get wrinkled.
4. Lie at the wedding dress store
When you’re all fresh and happy, you’re engaged, all you have to be looking forward to is your big day and you’re at this glamorous boutique with beautiful gowns ready to choose the one you’ll say yes to. Let me stop you right there – when the smiling sales associate comes to greet you and ask you when’s the big day – tell them a fake wedding date, preferabl a month prior to your wedding.
Believe me, closer to the date you’ll be begging for some extra time and you don’t want to be worrying about your wedding dress alteration’s ready date. So keep it simple and don’t mention your real date. Give yourself a week or even two (or hey even a month is good, just make sure you don’t fluctuate in weight too much) so that you don’t have to drive 600 km from Toronto to Montreal to pick up your wedding gown a week away from your wedding (that was me and yes I know). Regardless of how far your atelier is, you’ll be better off having your dress ready and maybe even steam it one more time before the big day, instead of rushing to pick up your gown the day before your wedding.
5. Check the fine print
Yes, the wedding gown receipt and your alteration receipt, there’ll be a few small font lines that will basically dictate what can and cannot be done. So I may be biased, but the wedding gown atelier I went to (Salon de la Marie Nadia in Montreal) somehow failed to mention how much the alterations will cost and how long they’ll take. I didn’t check the fine print, and ended up paying over $700 for the worst alteration job I’ve ever seen (the seamstress left a needle in my wedding gown which I only noticed during the photo session), and a friend of mine shared that their wedding dress shop wanted them to commit to a minimum of $500 in alteration fees although she needed super small things done (she ended up paying way less than the minimum her wedding dress shop asked by simply going with a different seamstress. The good news though is that if you choose to go for alterations with the same place you got your dress from, just read the fine print and negotiate the price.
6. Get a seamstress for your alterations
If you can find a seamstress who’ll do a good job whether it be google reviews or someone’s recommendation, go for the seamstress. Yes at the wedding dress store they’ll promise you the stars, but what they will not mention is that they only have a handful of seamstresses working the insane wedding season schedule and your dress won’t be ready until the very week of your wedding. Additionally, you will always pay more for the same job at a wedding gown boutique.
So shop around before you commit to them because once you sign that paper there’s no turning back. There are a lot of good alternatives, in Toronto, a friend of mine went to Susan Dicks & Co and was very happy with the service. Just shop around. And if you’re from Montreal, do not go to the Salon de la Marie Nadia, because I had the worst service there.
One thing to keep in mind though is that most of the places where you buy your wedding gown
And in some cases, it is not a bad idea, but just ask them exactly how much this will cost you. I was originally told that it’ll cost me about $250, when they measured me (and made me sign a contract that says once our seamstress is assigned and takes your measurements you cannot back out of alterations) I was told $750 for the whole work! I did try to negotiate, which didn’t work – the response was “well some people pay way more than that”. And then when I asked around you can do everything for about $150 if you find a good seamstress.
7. Don’t buy a dress in another city (duh)
This one is a no-brainer, but for those of you who are sentimental like me and are considering getting the gown they loved in another city – don’t. I got mine because, well I loved it, but also because I went with my mom who lives in another city and it was a special moment when we chose it together. If you do end up getting yours in another city, make sure someone can ship it safely to your house so that you can take it to a local seamstress. Otherwise, it’ll be tough to bring it, because not all airlines allow you to store it separately and will most likely ask you to put it in your carry on. Considering the size of the gown, and the fact that it’ll get all wrinkled up, for closer destinations I’d consider driving or inquiring with ViaRail.
8. Sleep on it before buying
The main goal of salespeople is to sell, and we all know that, but somehow when it comes to wedding gowns, we forget that they’re not just smiling because they are happy for us (or maybe they are), the salespeople assisting you are there to sell. So don’t give in and commit to a dress you clearly can’t afford. Take some time, sleep on it and if you really do want it, then go and get it, but if you’re hesitant don’t. Fun fact, if you ask every bride about their wedding dress they will usually agree on one thing – when they tried on the “one” they all had that feeling that just tells you this is the dress they wanted to get married in. So try many options, see which styles you like, which materials and colours are good for you and shop around. And most importantly, have a budget in mind and stick to it.
9. Have your wedding shoes ready for your first alteration
Before your very first fitting, make sure you have your heels or flats, whatever rows your boat. This is important because you don’t want to be running like a headless chicken looking for heels the morning of your first fitting appointment (again this is exactly what I did ?♀️).
Get your shoes well in advance, I’d suggest right after you choose your gown. Some people buy a pair they will wear after, some choose flats, some go with pricy shoes you wouldn’t otherwise allow yourself to buy, and considering the occasion, why not. The point is, whatever you want to wear on your feet on your special day, think of it in advance, and get them in time for your fitting. Also keep in mind, in most dresses you won’t even see the shoes.
10. Schedule your first fitting four months in advance.
And last but not least, schedule your first fitting ahead of time. I know they say two months before the wedding day, and they say so to make sure your weight doesn’t change too much, but realistically speaking, they can adjust the little things closer to the date, so schedule your first fitting ahead of time to save yourself some nerve cells. Plus, most of us will get married in the summertime which is the prime wedding season (that runs from May to October I’d say) and that’s when they’ll jack up the prices for alterations and will suggest you pick up your dress a few days before your wedding. Lastly, you won’t really fluctuate that much in weight two months before your wedding.
Bringing it all together
Your wedding is a beautiful event that should be painless and happy. Unfortunately, too many brides get super stressed closer to the day because of things (those not so beautiful things) the industry doesn’t cover or warn you about. The goal is to also have just one of those in your lifetime, so chances are we all make these same mistakes. So to summarize the wedding dress shopping process, to have the most fun while looking for that perfect dress you should shop around, have a budget in mind, try on a few styles and only say yes to the dress you love. And when that’s done, get it altered elsewhere.
Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash
